S1 EP1 – Pilot: During his first day on the job at a big-box store, Jonah makes a bad first impression on floor manager Amy, and draws the romantic interest of assistant manager Dina.
It’s going to be so hard to choose just one character for each episode as everyone is so funny. However, I probably have to give it to Dina for the pilot: one because she carries around a bag of crystal meth, two her crush on Jonah is very cute and three she shoots a gun into the air.
*I do not own the rights to any videos in this post, no copyright infringement was intended. All rights go to the production studio*
The entire opening scene is iconic as it’s where it all begins, but Amy and Jonah meeting for the first time makes me so happy.
You cannot convince me that Jonah covering the store with glow-in-the-dark stars for Amy isn’t one of the most romantic things ever done.
Best quotes and one liners
AMY: That’s actually a cubic zirconia knockoff. It’s called PlastiClear.
BO: What happened to the $8 ones?
AMY: We’re all sold out of those. But this one’s only $2 more.
BO: I get it. You advertise the cheap jewellery to get the suckers in the door, then you push the expensive stuff.
AMY: Well, I wouldn’t use the word “suckers,” or “expensive,” or “jewellery.”
DINA: This is your garden variety generic decongestant. And this is crystal meth, okay? The tweakers use this to make this. So stop selling them this, so they can’t make this.
CHEYENNE: That guy told me he had a really bad cold.
DINA: He was buying 35 boxes, Cheyenne. That should have been a red flag, okay? Use your noggin’.
GLENN: Let’s thank Dina for that helpful tip of the day. Thank you, Dina.
GARRETT: Am I the only one who thinks it’s weird she’s walkin’ around with a bag of crystal meth?
JONAH: I… I think there might have been a misunderstanding. I’m not an elitist, so…
AMY: Oh, elitist? What is that?
JONAH: Like, a person who thinks they’re better than… You know what elitist means.
AMY: Oh, yeah. They learnt that to us in public school.
CUSTOMER: Oh, excuse me, miss. Do you know the difference between a stool softener and a laxative?
AMY: I’ll be right with you, ma’am. Cheyenne, what’s going on?
CHEYENNE: My boyfriend just asked me to marry him.
CUSTOMER: I don’t want it soft. I want it out of me.
GARRETT: Attention, shoppers. Even a big box store has to close, and it’s about that time. You know, when Pandora closed her famous box, there was only one thing left inside: hope. I wonder what will be left inside of this box. Could it be grace? I hope not. If you’re Grace’s parents, please pick her up at customer service.
GARRETT: May your marriage be as sweet and colourful as this Cloud 9 brand caffeinated malt beverage, without the recall for killing college students.
CHEYENNE: Thank you, on behalf of myself and Bo.
AMY: Well, he did make it memorable. I’ll give him that.
JONAH: I mean, most guys don’t even bother threatening to kill you when they propose.
Best musical moment
I wanted to include a video of Bo’s flash mob proposal to Cheyenne as it is quite possibly the most cringe thing I have ever since, but unfortunately, I couldn’t find one.
Final thoughts and fun facts
This is one of my all-time favourite shows and I’m excited to be reviewing every episode. It’s criminally underrated, I genuinely think it’s one of the funniest sitcoms ever made.
The pilot was filmed in a Kmart. Kmart pricing tags on the shelves and other signage can be spotted throughout the episode. This isn’t really noteworthy, but I find it funny that they didn’t remove these things, but it was only the pilot I suppose.
It is established here that Cloud 9 employees are not allowed to wear jewellery in the store. This would be ignored in future episodes. It was a plot contrivance created to explain why Jonah (and the audience) would not immediately know that Amy was married.
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Like this post? Why not read this one too: Re-Watch Review: New Girl S1-EP7