Audiobook Review: Never Trust a Gemini by Freja Nicole Woolf

Synopsis:

Star-crazed, star-crossed – and starting to fall in love. Meet Cat Phillips: chaotic teen lesbian and self-confessed clown…

Life is fraught for fourteen-year-old, zodiac-obsessed Cat. First there’s a minor bus-meets-girl accident, then there’s a boy-next-door suitor who can’t take a hint, but the most desperate disaster of all is Cat’s crush on the stunning and poetic Alison Bridgewater. According to their star charts, Cat and Alison are the perfect match. To which Alison (woe alas!) remains oblivious.

But when the dangerously cool Morgan Delaney wades into the river to save Cat’s sketchbook of kissing Disney princesses, she sends Cat’s stars spinning. Can Cat get over her Alison obsession and follow her heart towards Morgan? Or should she exercise caution? After all, Morgan is a Gemini, and if there’s one thing Cat’s Bible to the Stars has taught her it’s that you can never – ever – trust a Gemini…

Review:

I’ve really been trying to avoid DNFs recently, but I could not force myself to finish Never Trust a Gemini. I got just over halfway before deciding it was far too cringeworthy and the characters sucked.

I’m all for LGBTQIA+ representation in middle grade books, but not when they’re rife with homophobia. There’s also a lot of xenophobia. One of Cat’s best friends is Polish and she makes fun of her name saying she’s “surprised even Polish people can spell it correctly”. Her xenophobia is pointed out but she doesn’t apologise, instead she sends a text with the correct spelling of the name because of course that makes up for being a bad person. She also calls her “Slavic Sagittarius” all the time.

I understand that they’re teenagers and teenagers can be pretty awful, but that doesn’t mean you have to write your characters in this way. Referring to a girl liking another girl as a “weird lesbian crush” isn’t exactly a great message to send to young girls who may be scared about their sexuality. 

I also wasn’t a big fan of the narration. The combination of the cringe worthy language and the whiney teen tone of voice got extremely grating. I physically cringed when Cat oh so casually said “Alison’s snot probably tastes like honey”. It is genuinely one of the worst things I’ve ever read.

I don’t want to hate on Never Trust a Gemini anymore as I don’t have the energy. What looked like a fun, teen read turned into a feast of homophobia, bullying and outright meanness. This is not a book I’d recommend.


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